Why weight loss self sabotage isn’t your fault – 9 fixes

How to address your weight loss self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is an action that is not aligned with your goal. Weight loss self-sabotage is an action I see many people do. I’ve done it myself many times.

I’m going to tell you the main reasons why you self sabotage and what you can do. To hopefully get you back to your weight loss goals.

The main reasons as to why weight loss self sabotage tend to happen are:

  • Not addressing your “why”
  • Not “really” wanting to lose weight
  • Being inflexible
  • Not accepting delayed gratification
  • Worrying about losing your identity
  • Not willing to accept less pleasure
  • Poor environment
  • Unsuitable method
  • Unrealistic expectations

You haven’t addressed your “why”

The first question I ask potential clients in a consultation is “why?”.

I usually get back a wishy-washy answer. Such as I want to be fitter. Or I want to be healthier. I’m not saying these responses are wrong, but those sort of “why’s” are weak. They’re too generic. I’m not looking to make you cry, but I need something more specific.

Let’s take me. I wanted to be more attractive. Most people do, it’s human nature. I wanted to wear nice fitted clothing. I wanted to enjoy clothes shopping. Finally, I wanted to lower my high blood pressure.

These “why’s” were what made me lose weight. It was hard, long and boring at times. But these “why’s” kept me going.

So, the first thing you need to do is this. Write down your real “why’s”. Not the generic boring “I want to be fitter” thing. But your real why. Once you have that, keep it to yourself. Now you have something you can backwards engineer from.

Do you “really” want to lose weight?

There’s nothing worse than those trainers, who beast their clients then say “you need to want it enough”.

They are the ones who make their clients eat chicken and broccoli every day. That’s not the way to do things.

Your fat loss endeavour needs to be exciting. It should fill you with the same excitement as starting a new hobby. You should be eager and excited when doing this. If the process of losing weight doesn’t fill you with excitement, you shouldn’t be doing it.

Remember, this is for you. Nobody else. You never “should” have to lose weight. Only do it because YOU want to do it. If you’re not feeling 100% about it, don’t do it.

A lack of flexibility

I talk about flexibility all the time. It’s so important. So long as you’re in a calorie deficit. You will lose weight. It really doesn’t matter what method you use.

Why do I say this? People treat their method of fat loss like their new religion. If someone eats chocolate on a low carb diet, they think they ruined things. They haven’t. This when the self-sabotage kicks in. This is where someone will undo weeks of work.

Allow yourself full flexibility. I’ll use myself as an example. My methods were to track calories and eat a high protein diet. Did I track my calories every day? No. Where my calories 100% accurate every day? NO. Did I hit my protein target every day? No.

Did I lose over 1/4 of my bodyweight in fat? YES

I was never on “the wagon” I was flexible between my methods. This way I could never fall off the wagon. If you allow yourself full flexibility, you’re less likely to self sabotage your weight loss. Flexibility always gives the best weight loss. (1)

You haven’t accepted delayed gratification

Those that are patient get rewarded better than those who aren’t. Paying for something outright, always feel better than paying with a credit card.

Delayed gratification takes time and discipline. So does weight loss.

I wish I had a magic hack, I’d be a Billionaire.

So all I can say is embrace the suck. Waiting for things suck. But guess what sucks more. Yeah, quitting and never getting what you originally wanted. So just keep going, take your time, the results will come.

Your sense of identity is making you self sabotage your weight loss

When I was youngrer, I was always the “big guy”.

We all know what everyone meant. I hated it.

When I first started Uni, my flatmates gave me so much stick for not wanting to go drinking every night. I was told I wasn’t as fun anymore.

You might also be the big one or the jolly one in your group.

Maybe your scared your friends won’t like you as much if you try to improve your eating habits. Maybe they will sneer at you for trying to better yourself.

Those close to you will probably judge you. Not through malice, but from a place of them questioning themselves.

But you must ask yourself what matters more. Their opinions of you, or what you want?

When you better yourself, you’re holding a mirror to those around you. They are only projecting their insecurities onto you.

When I hit my goal, they all wanted my help.

“First they ask you why, then they’ll ask you how”

Your body isn’t your identity. Your mind and values are your identity. They are fluid, not a fixed entity.

Our bodies change constantly. So if anyone has a problem with you trying to better your body. They don’t have a problem with you, they have a problem with themselves.

You are not ready to accept less pleasure

Yes I preach flexibility. But you will need some form of restriction.

If I had my way. I’d be in bed all day, playing Fifa, scooping Ben & Jerry’s ice cream out with Oreos.

But there are times you’ll need to accept strawberries will never taste as good as Cookies. If you can accept that, you will be able to get further ahead in your pursuit.

If you are not ready to accept less pleasure, you are more likely to self sabotage your weight. loss goals.

Your environment is causing you to self sabotage your weight loss

Your environment is making you obese.

Advertisements, special offers, supermarket layouts, theres junk food everywhere.

Here are a few ways to improve your environment to prevent you self sabotaging your weight loss:

  • Don’t have multipack junk food in the house. If you want it, buy it in a single pack, so you don’t finish the lot
  • Have fruit someone where visible
  • Make sure there is always prepped fruit and veg in the fridge to snack on
  • Make sure to defrost meat the night before
  • Have sugar free soft drinks in the house
  • Throw a load of healthy food in the slow cooker

Your method doesn’t suit you

No two people are exactly the same. What is good for one, might be awful for someone else. Just because your friend lost weight on Keto doesn’t mean you will.

The method doesn’t matter. Only the principle matters.

If you hate the method you’re doing. Stop.

There’s other methods you can try. If your method is making you miserable and causing you to self sabotage your weight loss efforts. It’s not the method for you.

You’ve set unrealistic deadlines

When you set strict deadlines, you put more pressure on yourself. When you feel unecessary pressure to hit a deadline, you’re more likely to press the f*ck it button.

Short, long and medium-term goals are great. But these goals need to be flexible goals. Goals that can be moved about. Otherwise, you’ll just see yourself as a failure. Despite losing a load of weight, but if it’s not the amount you wanted you won’t be happy.

Instead of saying I must be 30lbs lighter by the summer.

Instead say “I would like to be leaner by summer. I would also like to enjoy the process, feel better and learn along the way. If I’m 30lbs leaner a little later that’s cool too, because I still made progress”.

Final thoughts

So as you can see none of these reasons have anything to do with you being at fault. Be kind to yourself. If weight loss is not a priority thats fine. There’s other cool things in life. Lose weight when you want to, otherwise enjoy life and focus on all the other beautiful things in the world.

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